I'm Not Good Enough

I’ve been working on this post now for a number of weeks, but it has never seemed quite right.  I’ve tweaked it and I’ve rearranged it, and I’ve placed it off to the side, but for some reason, I can no longer let it sit.  I feel like I need to post this now, so I hope it helps and blesses someone, and that the Lord has big plans for this post.

Over the course of my life, I have met many people.  Some of them are similar to me, others are vastly different.  But that is always what has made life interesting, from my perspective.  Amidst these differences, though, I see a common thread that links many people together, one that I think needs to be addressed head on.  It’s time to set the record straight and stop dancing around the subject.

Whether people want to admit it or not, a large percentage of people, specifically introverted people, feel like they aren’t good enough.  They feel like they aren’t good enough for God to worry about, they feel like they aren’t good enough to pray (or for God to take the time to listen when they do), they feel like they aren’t good enough for someone to love, they feel like they aren’t good enough to be your friend—the list goes on.  Quite frankly, they just don’t feel good enough. 

The root of this issue goes back to how a person values themselves and where they find their worth, if they find worth in themselves at all. 

What blows my mind is that lots of people seem okay with this way of life. 

Over time I have come to realize why so many people feel it’s okay to disparage themselves, and it all goes right back to self-esteem.  They have convinced themselves that they just aren’t worth it.  They look at a valuable relationship and convince themselves that that person simply would not want to have them in it.   Which often leads this person to have limited relationships where they are more than happy to focus on the problems of the other individual, but they never want you (the valuable relationship) to know about theirs.  Because then, if you knew the truth, they’d not want anything to do with you. You see other people’s actions (or lack thereof) and your experiences as being directly linked to your worth.

The reality is, self esteem drives us as individuals and has negative consequences if we have too much (hello, pride), or too little.  So we have to get some perspective, and that’s what I want to do today.  I want to talk predominantly on this “I’m not good enough” mentality, but I also want to strike a balance and remind us all of where our value comes from.  More on that, later.

Low self-esteem causes you to look at everything through a special lens.  It causes you to view everything through a lens that reroutes every issue that happens in life, and relationships, back to you, as your fault.

My parents didn’t stay together.  Something must be wrong with me.  I’m not good enough.

So and so is not interested in me.  Something must be wrong with me.  I’m not good enough.

I didn’t get the job.  Something must be wrong with me.  I’m not good enough.

My parents were addicted to/abusers of ___________.  Something must be wrong with me.  I’m not good enough.

My relationship didn’t work out.  Something must be wrong with me.  I’m not good enough.

My friend has different values and beliefs than I do.  Something must be wrong with me.  I’m not good enough.

You get the idea.

And maybe that’s the crux of the matter.  When you have low self-esteem, you see your experiences and the world around you as your fault.  People do what they do not because they’re independent, individual entities, but because of something in you that brings about their actions and thinking.  They don’t say hurtful things because there are a hundred other reasons or factors playing into the situation, but because, in your mind, you did something to deserve it.  But you don’t.  You have to take off the lens that says you’re not good enough—the lens you use to view your life – and if you do, you’ll discover a whole new world. 

The reality is the “I’m just not good enough” mentality is a lie.  And a lie believed as truth will affect a person as if it were true.  That’s why I feel led to write this post and share it with you, because I desperately want someone to show you this is a lie from The Enemy!  The enemy’s deceptions are powerful, and can easily hold us in bondage, which is why we need to see ourselves through God’s eyes instead of our own distorted view.  I want you to see Satan’s lies for what they are and replace them with liberating truth!

So, what is the truth?  The truth is that God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness. 

First, many of us believe that our worth is based on what others say about us.  Well, it’s not. 

“You’re stupid.”

“You’re no good.”

“You’re pathetic.”

“Why can’t you be more like your brother/sister?”

“I wish I never had you!”

I guarantee some of you have heard at least one of these, in some form or another, and believe it.

Let’s be honest here.  When someone says something good about you, you feel good about yourself, right? BUT, when someone cuts you down, you feel like the biggest loser that’s ever lived.  How many times, honestly, have you based your worth on what others say about you, be it good or bad?

Another way the lie of “I’m not good enough” affects us is we believe our worth is based on our past experiences – what happened to us in our past or the mistakes we’ve made. For instance, you may have grown up in a challenging family and you think, “Well, I’ll never amount to anything. We didn’t have a lot.” Maybe you weren’t great in school and so you believe “I’m average. I made average grades, I have an average job, and thus, I’m going to have an average life and be an average person.” Or maybe you made some mistakes in your past and you think: “I did something stupid and I just can’t forgive myself for what I did. I am of no worth to anybody.”

In his book, Wild Goose Chase, Mark Batterson says: “We become so fixated on past mistakes that we forfeit future opportunities. We mistakenly think our mistakes disqualify us from being used by God.”

There are many people who have disqualified themselves from serving God because they think that they are not good enough because of something they did in their past.

So, for everyone who has ever felt this way, I want to show you that some of the greatest heroes of the faith felt this way as well. One in particular that we’ll look at today is Moses. Moses believed the lie “I’m not good enough”. In Exodus 4, God Himself called Moses to deliver God’s people from bondage. Moses felt just the same way so many of us often feel.

In verse 10 we see Moses tells God he is slow in speech and tongue.  During the course of the chapter, Moses essentially tells God to find another man because he’s not good enough.  He argues with the Almighty, insisting that God doesn’t get it.  Moses believed the lie that he wasn’t good enough, based off of his past, and it led to some dangerous conclusions about his life which, oddly enough, mirror our own.

“Since I’m not good enough, I can’t make a difference. Why even try? I’m always average. I fail at everything I do. I’m not good looking enough. I’m not talented enough. My body’s not right. I’m inadequate in every way. I’m really not worthy to be loved, so why bother?”

We have to remember that we are not who others say we are and we are not the sum total of our past experiences. We are who God says we are – this is where we are to find our worth and our value! Let that settle in. So, whenever the lie comes up “I’m not good enough. I’m inadequate” we have to replace it with truth. Here’s the bottom line: When we come to Christ, our old nature dies. It’s gone. We have a new heart and a new spirit. We are a new creation.  BUT, just because we are spiritually new doesn’t mean that the old memories of who we used to be just automatically go away. We are often haunted by those negative tapes that continue to run in our mind. That’s why we need to capture those lies and let God’s truth renew our minds. When we do this we will begin to believe what God says about us. And when we believe what God says about us then we can do what He calls us to do.

So what does God say about us? I want to focus on one of many truths and that is: We are His! Our worth comes from the fact that God says we belong to Him!

1 Corinthians 6:19b-20a says: “You are not your own; you were bought at a price.” Or, as the New Living Translation puts it: “You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price.” We are valuable because we belong to God. We were bought at a price – a very high price. The image here of being “bought with a price” comes from the days of buying slaves. The slaves were put in the market to be sold and then people would buy them for the agreed upon price. Our price, the cost of purchasing us, was Jesus Christ.

1 Peter 1:18-19 says: “For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.”

We are valuable because God loves us. God does not love us because we are valuable. We are valuable because God loves us! God loves us because we are His creation! God loves us because He wants us to know Him! God loves us because we need Him! God loves us the way we are, but He loves us too much to leave us that way!

So our worth/our value is determined by our association.

For example:  Once there was a man travelling from Paris.  He had purchased a rather inexpensive amber necklace at a trinket shop and decided to have it appraised once he returned to the states.  The appraiser, with his eye to the glass, quickly offered the man $25,000 for the necklace.  Surprised by this, the man decided to have another jeweler come to appraise the necklace.  Only this time, with his eye to the glass, the jeweler said he would offer the man $35,000 for the necklace.  Completely perplexed and astonished, the man asked the jeweler, “What is it about this piece that makes it so valuable?”

 “Look through the glass,” replied the jeweler.

With his eye set to the glass, the owner of the simple looking amber necklace understood why the necklace had such value.  There, before his eyes, was an inscription: To Josephine from Napoleon.

 The value of the necklace came from its identification with a famous person (albeit infamous). As a Christian, we are like that simple amber necklace.  We are identified with One who is far more valuable and important than any human. It is from our union and our association with God that we find our true identity, worth and value. We get our worth and value from what God says about us!

So let’s deal with this lie that rampages our American culture right here, and right now.  Let’s defeat it by the power of Christ. If this lie is affecting you as if it were true then it is keeping you from doing what God wants you to do. It is keeping you from being who God wants you to be. It is time to overcome this lie with the truth. As a Christian, your old life is dead. You are a new creation. You have a new heart. You have a new Spirit. You are a new person. Let your mind be renewed by God’s truth.

If you are still dealing with the negative tapes from your past and watching them over and over and over again, it is time to erase them. It’s time to throw them away. It is time to break them. Starting today we are not listening to them anymore.

Our worth is not based on what others say, or have said, about us. Our worth is not based on our past experiences. We get our worth and value from what God says about us! And God says that we are HIS! We are valuable because we belong to God. Scripture reminds us and tells us that God says: “I have called you by name, you’re mine.” This is not something we have to convince ourselves of, this is a reality – this is the truth. We belong to God; we just need to be conscious of the reality. Are you conscious of that reality today?

I want to play a song that is a great reminder to me of this reality. It is called “Who am I?” by the band Casting Crowns. Focus on the words.

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am Yours

When the little voice says to us, “You’re not good enough,” we have to remember that we are His.  It’s not because of who we are or what we’ve done.  We are His.  We get our worth and value from what God says about us, and what God says is that we are valuable because we belong to Him!