Sunday, February 19, 2012

Grief Potatoes

So many well-meaning, wonderful, loving people offer the token advice of “time heals wounds” whenever a loss or tragedy occurs.  Unfortunately, it happens to be one of the worst things to tell the bereaved.  Not only does this saying de-legitimize what the grieving are feeling, it also holds no truth to it.  Time does not heal wounds.  In fact, it is a dangerous phrase, one I easily fell into during the early days of loss. 

So why is this phrase so dangerous, you may ask inquisitively (if you are not asking this then pretend you are, for my sake)?  Well, in essence this saying tells us that we can sit around and be a grief potato— a term I coined to describe society’s couch potato approach to grief.  Not only is this unhealthy, but it sets people up for depression when time never heals their wounds… a depression that can have destructive results. 

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Children Never Forget

I am obediently sharing this on my blog, as requested:
Children never forget. 

You know, as much as we think that things don’t affect children like they do adults, we are dead wrong. They understand way more than we give them credit for. They are very in tune to things.

Elianna showed the affects of losing Samuel in many ways. They were very different than the rest of us, but they were obvious reactions to the loss of her brother.

For example: Elianna loved being in Samuel’s room. It’s where all the action happened. We were in there all the time and she adored her brother. He was hers. Talk about a little nurse in training. Elianna had her routine down pat. If she wanted to get up on the bed to play with brother, she knew she needed to use Germ-X. She’d get a pump of sanitizer and then away she would go with a hand washing motion, rubbing it all in.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Introducing the Blog

Perhaps seeing this blog is as surprising to you as it is for me.  Honestly, I never planned on ending up in the blogging community again.  It’s not that I don’t enjoy it, but it is amazing how interconnected different aspects of our life can be.  My last blog didn't end with a happily ever after, and it was very difficult for me to continue blogging.  There is a certain vulnerability to a blogger.  You lay your soul out for others to see.  My heart had already suffered a devastating blow, and I wasn't sure I wanted people to see what was left to share.