So many well-meaning, wonderful, loving people offer the token advice of “time heals wounds” whenever a loss or tragedy occurs. Unfortunately, it happens to be one of the worst things to tell the bereaved. Not only does this saying de-legitimize what the grieving are feeling, it also holds no truth to it. Time does not heal wounds. In fact, it is a dangerous phrase, one I easily fell into during the early days of loss.
So why is this phrase so dangerous, you may ask inquisitively (if you are not asking this then pretend you are, for my sake)? Well, in essence this saying tells us that we can sit around and be a grief potato— a term I coined to describe society’s couch potato approach to grief. Not only is this unhealthy, but it sets people up for depression when time never heals their wounds… a depression that can have destructive results.